Okay, now I am feeling guilty...

I have just read my blog, and I feel like I am casting my children in a negative light (you have to love 'mommy guilt'). My kids are fantastic. They are beautiful human beings that my husband and I created, each having their own unique talents and strengths. I guess I am just trying to make light of the negatives of having 3 kids and a husband. There are not many negatives...just insanity maybe.

I just needed to clarify.

Jakey...

Oh he is my love, my sweet precocious 3 year old middle child. We butt heads regularly. He drives me nuts. He is very particular about so many things, he doesn't like to eat anything else besides cheese sandwiches, yogurt, french fries, and nuggets. He won't touch a vegetable, rarely fruit. Meals are generally full of gags and tears. He screams for no reason, will cry at the drop of a hat. Everything about him is MORE MORE MORE. There is an intense energy that surrounds the kid. He is extreme. He has no fear. He wants to do everything himself. He is loud. He is incredibly smart...like at 15 months old he was talking in 5 word sentences smart. Before he was 2 1/2 he could look at small groupings of things and tell you how many there were, without physically counting every single one. He knows and has known all his letters and phonics since before he was 2. He lines things up sometimes according to numbers or colors or shapes sometimes. He did this just over a year ago with dominoes in his room. Tony and I saw it and both got freaked out. I almost ran to the developmental psychologists to have him tested for autism. These dominoes were in a perfect side-by-side line, two rows, lined perfectly straight and the numbers and letters all matched perfectly. I should have taken a picture. Instead we messed it up because it creeped us out. Jacob is intense. He has been this way since birth. He had breathing problems at birth and the NICU staff thought they were going to have to intubate him, (http://http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transient_tachypnea_of_the_newborn) instead they had to take him off the CPAP (constant pressure high flow of oxygen...think high speed train going in your nose, but it is really just oxygen) because he would not stop screaming. He wound up with just a nasal cannula and he was incredibly pissed about that. He had his food allergy issues, skin issues, everything seemed to be an issue. Poor kid. Everything about him is larger than life, except he is incredibly small. Did I say he drove me nuts? I love him, more than anything. I cannot imagine how life would be if I would have actually left him in the cart at Target like I wanted to one day. I think he is going to be the child who gives me the most problems. Do you want to know how I know this?

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He is exactly like me.

Sleep is for losers.

Tony and I have been joking the past few weeks that we are more sleep deprived now than we were right after we had Victoria. And it is true. But it isn't like we are up watching a movie, or even having a little fun between the sheets. It's the kids. One of them seems to ALWAYS be awake. Whether it is midnight and we are awakened by a screaming voice saying "I HAVE TO PEE" which would be Jacob who won't come downstairs and go to the bathroom unless we carry him, or maybe it is the sound of elephants tromping through our house and then the inevitable door slam and the whisper of "I'm scared and I had a bad dream" which would be Jonathan. And then we have what Tony calls the circus act. Once again, it isn't he and I doing acrobatics, he says it is Victoria and I. We co-sleep with our kids as infants. We do have a co-sleeper set up next to the bed, which Victoria does sleep in, but after she wakes up for the first time in the night to eat, I pull her in bed with me. I am not going to sit up and breastfeed her, and then put her back in the co-sleeper and then go back to sleep. I would be exhausted. It is much easier to put her on the boob lying down and fall back asleep. She just takes care of business herself and falls back into a nice slumber. But Tony says it wakes him up, and keeps him awake. Hmmm...this must be why I always hear so much SNORING from his side of the bed. I have never really known why men say they don't snore, or deny sleeping when you hear the undeniable sound of sawing logs.

Oh well, at least we women know the truth about snoring. And you can't fake snore...he has tried it. This was his lame attempt once at not getting up to take care of one of the kids. He just got kicked even harder then!

I love my husband, I really do...

I am a terrible wife. My husband tries so hard (most of the time) to help me out and make life as wonderful as he knows how to. He works hard, long hours so that I can stay home with our children, he never balks when I spend $25 on ONE diaper, he doesn't really complain about much besides maybe my housekeeping skills. We have had a crazy and occasionally bumpy 7+ years together. I have been pregnant or nursing basically since we started dating, so he has always had to share me. He stuck with my through really bad post-partum depression after I had Jacob. He highlighted my hair for me, and then dyed it pink. What a guy! I could go on and on.

So last night when he came home from work, he walks in the door with a dozen roses, and he searched for something that I could eat, something special from him. And all I could do was give him a dirty look. You see, I was cleaning up puke. Yes, lovely puke. Sick kids do wonders to ruin the mood. Jonathan was sick with a nasty cold since Friday, and by Saturday evening at the dinner table, he starts puking. Poor baby. Meanwhile Jacob is whining, and Victoria is screaming. And my husband has not walked in the door yet. So I put Victoria in the swing, strip Jonathan of his pukey clothes and put him in the shower, and start to clean up the undigested food on my table, chair, and floor. Yes, he is good and can hit multiple surfaces. Yuck.

I did eventually get my flowers put in some water, and managed to give a hug and a kiss and say thank you. But the moment was totally ruined. I'm sorry honey...try to think about Mexico. Someday we will make it back there!

I'm ssssssooooooo hungry!

Meet Victoria. Isn't she beautiful? I am absolutely in love with my beautiful baby girl. And I am desperately hungry. My beautiful little girl turns not so beautiful if I eat certain foods...like dairy, wheat, eggs, soy, pumpkin, beef...that is what I can think of at this current second. My diet consists of: chicken, vegetables and the occasional rice or quinoa if I feel like cooking it (which is RARELY!) It is the holiday season and I want egg nog from our milkman, I want fudge, cookies, mashed potatoes and gravy. I want it all, and I can have none of it. Boo-hoo.

Most would say to just put her on formula. I told myself after Jacob that I would never again starve myself for my child. Then it happens. Again. And I refuse to give her formula. Yuck. For one, she won't even take a bottle of breast milk, how is she going to take a bottle of yucky stinky formula? Second, formula is just that, yucky. Fake baby milk. It should (in my opinion) be labeled: NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION. Now I know that in some instances, formula is the only option. But not in mine. The formula she would likely be on is something called Neocate. I was a nanny for a little boy that was on Neocate. It is a gray color. It stinks. And it tastes really really bad. I just couldn't do that to my baby. My sweet, sweet baby. That and I would feel totally guilty that I breastfed her brothers for 2 years a piece, and stuck a bottle of yuckiness in her mouth.

So I am hungry...anyone want to feed me totally allergen free food???

My first blog...what has life come to???

So I never thought I would join the bandwagon of 'blogging' until a friend of mine shared hers with me, and I fell in love. I have treated her blog as a confessional of my own, and thought maybe I should do my own instead of hijacking hers! So thanks Ellen...hopefully now I can keep in touch with the outside world again!

We have just gotten back from vacation in Florida...what an experience. We didn't do disney this time, thank goodness! South Florida, the Everglades, and TONS of alligators! I will get pictures out soon!

I am still learning...so hang in there with me, and hopefully in the future you too will get some laughs out of this insane life I live as a mother of three!