My brain has a cramp.

No really.  It hurts.  It has been hurting.  My blog posts reflect that.  Not that I am some ridiculously talented writer or anything, but I generally think of myself as a bit witty, but in recent posts all of that has been gone.  It isn't that nothing crazy or funny has been happening in my life, every day is full of that.  I just can't seem to write it down.  I started this blog for various reasons, mostly I want to be able to keep my kids antics connected with family that lives far away...which is EVERYONE.  It has served as a sort of personal diary, something maybe the kids can look back on someday and laugh.
Maybe I need more sleep.  I have a newfound addiction to television shows from Netflix...currently it is Dexter.  My love for forensics is returning.  I need some curtains on my windows too...now that we have moved and our house seems to be lit up by the street lights and the lights in the harbor.  We didn't have street lights before.  Or the coast guard lights.  Or any lights.  It was dark.  And private.  Not like our current but absolutely lovely fishbowl we now live in.  We designed the damn house...I never thought about window treatments or street lights.  I laid in bed last night and looked at all my lovely windows.  There are 9 of them in my bedroom alone.  NINE.  On 2 walls.  What in the hell was I thinking?!??!  The view is great...the sunsets are phenomenal.  But I never considered the damn street lights.
I think we are venturing to Ikea today...

STOP! I want to get off!

Life really doesn't feel fair today.  At all.  My heart is absolutely breaking today for a couple I went to HS with...their daughter just died of brain cancer last night.  She was 8.  EIGHT.  Why?  Why does this stuff have to happen?

I cannot fathom losing a child.  It is my worst nightmare.  I am going to take my kid out and have a good time now...hug them a little tighter...give them ice cream a time or two extra today.

My heart goes out to you Tara and Mike.  I am so sorry.

I think I have recovered!

Or I am at least on the mend.  I met Tony after work on Wednesday and we decided to buy some kayaks.  He passed his final test with a 98, so it was time to celebrate.  After moving into our house and seeing all the boats and kayaks in the harbor, it was most certainly time!  So we both got one, and we even got one for Jonathan.  The kids were ecstatic and could not wait to get them in the water!  It was all Jacob talked about yesterday.  So when Tony got home from work, we went out.

Jonathan enjoyed the first 2 minutes before he was done and ready to go back.  Don't be fooled, the boy was tethered to me.  He only lost his paddle once, thank goodness they float!  I refused to let him quit, so he kept on paddling.  We were going against the current, and the tide was still on its way out, so it isn't like it was the easiest thing to do in the first place.  But I will give him credit, even though he complained almost the entire way, he did enjoy himself, and he kept trying.

Tony had Jacob in his kayak, and I had Victoria.  The two of them really enjoyed it.  Well, for the most part.

This picture doesn't even look like my daughter, but nevertheless it is.  We had just turned around and started to head back because some storms were moving in, and to be honest, we have no clue where the salt marsh comes out to the river.  The rip tide is pretty nasty there, a place that I most certainly don't want to get caught in with my kids let alone myself.  But we had a blast!  The coolest part is when the tide is in, we can literally walk across the street and dump the boats in the harbor!  I can't wait for that!

I think I have the plague!

Seriously.  The "cold" is kicking my ass.  It is a beautiful day outside, yet we won't be venturing to the beach as we should...especially since today is the first day of summer vacation.  Sorry kids...you brought these germs home (yes, I blame my children...they were ill first!) and because you smother me in kisses I am now sick.  I love  your kisses, but keep those germies to yourself!  I still love you though!

Mama is sick.

That is all.  Blah.

The team meeting results.

Jonathan gets an IEP.  Starting in second grade my son will be a SPED student.  Ugh.  Kick in the gut.

I know this is a good thing, and there is nothing wrong with getting help when you need it.  There is nothing wrong with special ed.  A lot of kids have IEP's nowadays.  I probably wouldn't feel so bad if it was Jacob or Victoria with one.  But it is Jonathan.  The kid that has overcome EVERYTHING.  The one who wasn't supposed to walk or talk.  I made all that happen.  I worked with him every single day to get him moving, to gain control of his left side.  I wanted him to develop like a normal kid.  And he did.  He and I did that together.  And now I have failed him.  Granted I know that I cannot control everything, but I could have helped him a bit more. I could have fought him more on reading, spelling, and made him sit and do it.  I could have helped him more.  And I didn't.

That being said, it seems as though Jonathan really doesn't have any issues learning the material, he is struggling with processing it.  He isn't stupid by any means.  He really isn't even slow.  Well, technically he is, but learning wise he isn't.  But his brain shuts down when he looks at a page with 25 math problems.  Give him 5 or even 10 math problems, he has no issues.  Give him 25 on a page and he cannot do it.  Give him 10 minutes to do it, forget about it.  Let him take his time, it will get done.  And he is stuck on sounding every word out, which is totally screwing him.  It is a good habit, but not for sight words.  It is good for words that you have never read before, or long words.  But there is no reason to sound out the word THE.  And he does.  Every single time.

So the good news is that he will still be learning the same information as his peers.  He will be learning the same materials at the same pace, just in smaller blocks.  I am hoping to get him caught up a bit this summer and really work on sight words and reading.  That would help him immensely to start second grade.  I have told him that we will be doing school work all summer, and he isn't so happy about that, but he does know that when he fills up his journal a new bike will be coming.  That is 50 journal entries.  He can write in it more than once a day if he wants.  He just needs 50 entries.  50 good entries.  Anyone want to guess when he will be getting his new bike?

Spreading the good news...

I have decided not to share Jonathan's team meeting today, instead talk about my beautiful girly girl.  I really cannot believe that she is GIRLY!  I didn't think it was genetically possible, but this little girl is all about shoes, dresses, now jewels and did I say shoes?  We bought her some of those cheesy dress ups shoes for her birthday, you know the ones that have a little heel (which I am completely opposed to little girls wearing heels) and the princess faces on them.  Well, she tried on every pair (there were four), decided she like the pink ones best, and screamed because I wouldn't let her wear them to bed.  I am not looking forward to the day she wants to wear them outside of the house.

Here her brothers are helping her put them on.

In all her glory...

And waiting for cake...check the shoes!


I hope she stays girly.  She does like dirt, mud, and cars.  But she likes to be fashionable while playing...much more than I ever did!

AAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD both boys are riding 2-wheelers now.  Jonathan was a bit afraid to take his training wheels off his bike (he is almost 8 for goodness sake!) even though he could actually ride without them as we tried.  Jacob decided he didn't want his on anymore either, so of course Jonathan made sure he was out there one upping his brother.  Nothing like a good bit of competition!  I am so proud of them both!  I think a bike might be in my future!