I contemplated for awhile on starting a new blog. One that was completely anonymous, so I could hide. But that is all I have been doing and I really need to stop.
I'm battling depression. Not sure why or what the fuck happened to put me in this position, but alas here I am. And it sucks. And I am tired of it (literally and figuratively). And what is more depressing is that I have NOTHING to be depressed about. There unfortunately is a history, both with me and other family members. But there has always been a reason. I supposed there are things that have happened in life that could have dug this hole I am in without my knowledge, but when I look back on those reasons I'm not overly bothered. I live in an amazing area, I have a fantastic husband, three kids who are pretty freaking awesome, no money troubles, fantastic grades in college, blah blah blah. If I were a stranger looking at me I would question just why in the world I am saying I am depressed. But that is the funny thing about mental illness. There are no reasons. It just is what it is.
I can feel better though. I know I can. Right now that goal seems unattainable. So I am going to start baby steps. I am going to wake up every day at the same time and go to bed at the same time. I am going to go for a walk every morning and do yoga as well as put better foods in my body. It is Mother's Day and I am going to start taking care of ME!