I am at a point of total frustration right now with Jacob. He is a miserable human being. The sun can shine out of his ass and there is still this big looming cloud hanging over his head. It isn't as though he is never happy...because life is wonderful when he isn't thinking of anything. He can be smiling, laughing, and all kissy face one minute, then you ask him a question about something and he puts on this horrid depressed face and says he like nothing, no one, and he is going to do nothing. What in the hell is wrong with this kid?I know that Jacob has always had a 'struggling' personality. He is a spirited child to say the least. And he has been since day 1. They couldn't even keep him on CPAP in the NICU because he was screaming so hard and loud. He had severe colic with food allergies and severe tummy problems. He cried. And cried. And giggled. And giggled. And giggled some more. One of those great belly laughs that he still has. And then he cried some more. And now 4 years later, he still does the same thing.
It makes me sad to see him so sad. I wish I knew what to make him happy besides giving in to his every want and need. As long as you do every single thing he says, he will smile. If you don't do it right, or heaven forbid you say no...watch out. He is so smart and funny, and handsome and charming...and miserable. Anyone have any bright ideas of getting him out of his funk permanently?
I remember going through this with Jonathan, but it wasn't as intense. I could generally walk away from him and feel okay about it. I am struggling with walking away from Jakey. We went to Jo Ann fabrics today to pick out some material to make him a duvet cover. He is sleeping with a Sesame Street comforter that my grandfather bought him from a garage sale a few years ago, and although he doesn't complain, I think it is about time he gets a big boy one. He wanted pirates. Great, easy enough. He was incredibly picky about what was acceptable, but we finally did find 2 fabrics. We brought it up to the counter to be measured...and there wasn't enough. Of either. I thought we could pick out some cool skull fabrics and make a border (this would have solved the problem) and he just wouldn't have it. Refused to even look at any more fabric. He just walked away. I was heartbroken. The women in Jo Ann fabrics were heartbroken. How can a 4 year old boy make everyone feel so bad?
